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lavender fields Tambak ang labada ko... |
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mercredi, juillet 30, 2003 darn, i won't be getting my FREE daily dose of humor from Comics.com anymore. i am going to miss Ben, Herman, Herb and Jamaal, the Wizard of Id, Bachelor Party and, of course, Dilbert. we've spent fun times together. i will miss having my Reality Check and getting Moderately Confused. awww. 
now i have to find a new source of amusement. i will miss receiving and reading the comic strips in my mailbox. if only spam was just as funny. # gtz | 3:33 AM | mardi, juillet 29, 2003 i still have a Palawan vacaton hangover so i won't write about it just yet. you would only read variations of "ang ganda" and perfect, because the place was really perfect. so i'm sharing a photo-essay instead, soon. este, photo album lang muna pala. for now: orangemoony and i stayed at the third cottage from the right.  ganda no? # gtz | 2:05 AM | mercredi, juillet 23, 2003 kinikilig ako. i'm too old to have a school girl-like crush. pero kinikilig talaga ako. i saw B last night at the Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life premiere (i love freebies!) in Rockwell. and as school girl crushes go, na torpe ako. i've known this guy for more than 2 years, and i had a crush on him the first time i saw him. basta. he has the nicest eyes, really smells good, has about zero body fat and has this charming-disarming smile. o di ba?! i think he recognized my voice so he suddenly turned to face me. his sudden movement, or was it a magnetic pull, caused me to glance his way. but alas, all i got to do was smile because the next second, i was already inside the theater (i was walking while talking). i think he was yet to give his ticket to the takilyera or was just waiting for someone. anyway, we just shared a split-second smile, no time for acknowledgment or for saying hello. though it took forever for the movie to start (as movie premieres in Manila go) and the lights to be turned off, i never had the courage to approach him and say "hi". okay, i saw him glance my way a couple of times but he didn't approach me either. i think he was busy trying to look busy because he was one of the organizers. and the glances continued after the movie ended, while orangemoony and i waited for her friends. oh well. the last time i saw B was early this year, while malatemail, T and i were at Segafredo enjoying our wine. he was also in Segafredo, a few tables away. it took us about 30 minutes before we nodded our hellos though i was glancing at him and he was glancing at me way, way earlier. nato-torpe ako't kinikilig. bago ko ring crush yung ex-boyfriend ni Lara Croft. ang gwapo. # gtz | 7:00 AM | mardi, juillet 22, 2003 this is the funniest thing i heard today. or the weirdest. while O, J, M and i were watching the first Meteor Garden episode on M's computer (and a close-up of Dao Ming Sz filled the monitor), O suddenly blurted out "Ganyan ang gusto kong lalake, yung maumbok ang Adam's Apple para pag nag-kiss kami..." O never got to finish her sentence. we were hysterical then. # gtz | 11:49 PM | i need to learn to write my ABCs again. my handwriting is getting really worse. a few more months and even i won't get to understand it. my handwriting could drive even the best graphologist crazy. # gtz | 2:29 AM | i'm an Advil addict. i buy Advil by the blister pack. i've even learned to take the pill by dry swallow. that's how desperate i am sometimes. hey, i'm sleep deprived. for more than two years now that wonder pill has helped me sleep, and wake up without muscle pains and the urge to get back to bed upon waking. i should curb this addiction before it gets worse, and, before i get immune to this drug. so now i'm back to sleepless nights and muscle pains. back to waking up every half hour or so. back to seeing the dark become lighter as the hours pass. back to hearing night sounds become traffic noises. if only pills came in red and blue. i'd be like Trinity right now and everything will just be in my mind. but then again. i really should stop taking Advil, but the temptation is there. or i need to find other Advil addicts and set up an Advil Addicts Anonymous egroup. i don't think i'm the only Advil addict on this planet. there's a new sleeping pill that's available over-the-counter. am planning to try this out. but i don't wan't to stop using a drug only to transfer my addiction to another pill. life's a pill. # gtz | 2:20 AM | dimanche, juillet 20, 2003 always knew i was a siren. but i'd rather be called a mermaid.  and because the sea has been calling me for so long, i'm off to Palawan this weekend for a good splash. What legend are you? by Paradox # gtz | 8:39 PM | vendredi, juillet 18, 2003 i live three houses away from a videoke bar called Bato. I have never been inside it so i wouldn't know if it looks like Bedrock with waitresses dressed as Wilma. though it can also mean stoned, nababato. Nor do i have intentions of finding out, even if i'm dying of alcohol thirst. besides, singing is not one of my talents, as many of you know. why it was set up in our residential street (though just three minutes away from Ali Mall) and half a kilometer from a school, i will never understand. but then again, the owner also has a billiard hall beside the bar's corridor entrance ("students in uniforms not allowed to play" and "students not allowed during class hours), an apartelle called LRL (yeah, right.), a security agency, and a new gym with glass panels as if anyone would care to watch the gym-goers. but i digress. the opening of this bar took away my joy of watching the stars while having a smoke, or reading a book while there's still daylight. how can anyone stand hearing "Bakit ngayon ka lang dumating" sang three times before it's even 10 o'clock? and imagining just how many people can relate or are affected by that song is not a happy thought. while i was absentmindedly brushing my teeth last night, this particular man's singing entered my ears and yelled at my brain to notice it. it was difficult to ignore him specially since i used to like the song before it became a videoke staple. he sang; I'mmm onli a maaaan in a seeeli red sheeeet... then he ate his words until... I'mmm onli a maaaan in a seeeli red sheeeet... I'mmm onli a maaaan in a seeeli red sheeeet...onli a maaaan.... i swear i could hear the cheers from across the street. when the cheers died down the host cried out "o, one mooor time, Christian." i have heard how it is to sing as if your life depended on it. and i realized i'd rather die than sing. # gtz | 1:58 AM | mardi, juillet 15, 2003 the Prophet Elijah is shaking up my life right now. i just hope that i know what i need to do before Jezebel's soldiers find me. am reading Paulo Coelho's The Fifth Mountain. i set out to read a Beat generation anthology (my third attempt) last monday but the poems just didn't create images in my head. my eyes just scanned the page or, worse, i just stared at a word or two. i just didn't have the beat in me. my beat must have traveled without me, i know i used to have it in me because i sure enjoyed reading Jack Kerouac's On the Road. i was just too... sad. so i put the book back in my drawer, and before i could stop myself, i borrowed my cousin's The Fifth Mountain. i tried reading the book months ago but it probably was not the right time because i never got past 15 pages. and after a day of reading it, Elijah is shaking up my life. i didn't even have to do anything. i just hope he shows me the path before my river runs dry and jezebel's soldiers find me. p.s. finished reading A Wizard of Earthsea last weekend. anyone who has read it? because i really think Harry Potter and Hogwart's was patterned from this book. the scar, the classes, the forbidden forest, the school festivals, even being unconscious in the hospital for a month because of a spell. last i got the same feeling was after reading Marian Keyes's Lucy Sullivan is getting married. i knew then that Bridget Jones's Diary was not original. # gtz | 11:35 PM | jeudi, juillet 10, 2003 music: Toad the Wet Sprocket (stupid) early this week i told a friend that i could feel a mood swing/depression coming. i was right. it began last night. i thought i just wanted to go out and see some friends and drink beer. i was wrong. what i really wanted to do was to spend quality time with myself. i found myself being drawn to Powerbooks Pasay Road. Browsing at the new titles and the new arrivals actually helped delay my depression by a few hours. Seeing Astrid Lindgren's Pippi Longstocking series reprinted did perk me up. i enjoyed reading the adventures of Pippi when i was young(er), though i still want to watch the movie (if there really is one). but when i woke up this morning, the dark cloud was there. i felt like sleeping the day off, yet also yearned for people to make me laugh and get me out of that slump. the caffeine didn't help i think one thing that blew this cloud closer was malatemail's better late than never blog entry about j. there was nothing depressing about her entry but it had me thinking of my life. it brought me memories of college days' plans. in a few months (okay 10 months to be exact) i will turn 28. i always knew that i would get married by this age. no. i always knew (and wanted) to have a child by this age. even out of wedlock. i have three prospects for a sperm donor. yes. i knew i would have done something significant with my life by then. but i am in no way near that. now i know that i have to go out of this country. i don't want to grow old mediocre, and that's what's going to happen if i stay here. there is something more to my life than this. but i don't know where to start. i have to leave because i just might end up killing myself before i'm 33. it's not easy to start being great when you're 33. Jesus is said to have been crucified when he was 33. (but do i really want to leave? leave my comfort zone? leave my slow-paced life only to want it back when i'm old and rich? leave a debt i can't pay in 15 years?) i just don't want to die mediocre. # gtz | 9:11 PM | mardi, juillet 08, 2003 *want to write but have nothing to say* been staring at the Post box for two hours, between readings of Neil Gaiman's website and message board. and answering Emode quizzes. I'm a Crazy Cranberry. We have to hand it to you. With your self-confidence, gumption, and joie de vivre, you're usually two steps ahead of the pack, willing to try anything once (and usually twice). We'd guess that kind of devil-may-care attitude has won you loads of admirers, particularly those wanting in on some of that positive energy (or maybe just wondering what the heck you're going to do next). Regardless, you're always refreshing with a little kick — a combination sure to juice up any crowd. You're a real self-starter, and tend to be motivated by the unknown. For you, the possibilities are endless. And that kind of adventuresome attitude is contagious. That's probably why people tend to look to you to shake things up — you never know what kind of fabulous cocktail you'll come up with. wow, how western. cranberries don't grow in my country. but yes, i am crazy. i was even at the basement of the Makati Medical Center where the Neuro-Psychiatric ward was. took me awhile to find the Physical Therapy section; i was just too amused to be at the basement of MMC. the basement used to be known for housing rich mental patients in the '70s and '80s. just like mandaluyong is mental city and muntinlupa is convict land. oh well. another over-priced physical therapy experience tomorrow, which is equivalent to a good massage with steam bath, the use of the jacuzzi and complimentary orange juice. *wow, did have something to write after all.* # gtz | 11:54 PM | Remember to: 1. Never coordinate a vacation with relatives. or be in a vacation with them. 2. Never get your friends to write for you or do a project with you specially if your not aware of their work ethics/habits. 3. Never pass a project on to a friend. baka ikaw pa ang masira. (see #2) 4. Never invest big money with a friend. baka di na kayo magkaibigan pagkatapos. 5. Never go into a relationship with a friend. scary. at baka di na kayo magkaibigan pag di kayo nagkatuluyan. # gtz | 11:07 PM | dimanche, juillet 06, 2003 McDonald's Boni has got to be the worst Mcdo branch. ever. the terrible service is just too consistent to ignore. and while eating i got to watch an underweight sumo wrestler with a cute 3-year-old boy. pedophiles should be sent to hell. alive. # gtz | 8:53 PM | Finally went to see a doctor regarding my back pain. my fear of not waking up/waking up paralyzed was just greater than my fear of doctors. oh just make the pain go away. give me drugs anytime. # gtz | 8:45 PM | jeudi, juillet 03, 2003 woke up this morning realizing that i just remembered a dream. and a nice one at that, not the usual surreal dreams i keep on having that usually have me convinced that it's real while i'm in the dream. nor the dreams where i just watch myself, something like watching a movie with my doppelganger in the lead. this one had me in Venice. cool! a friend who is in Indonesia was picking me up on a gondola. (dream on. hahaha). with two large orange-striped tabby cats (think: king-of-cats-sized with chow-chow fur). window displays across the canal had real people dancing to a tune i couldn't hear. until someone calls me back. another friend who is in Singapore. so Singapore's flooded now? o well, at least i got to ride a gondola even if it was only in my dreams. and the good news: Detdet is 6 weeks on the family way and Leda is getting married. # gtz | 1:58 AM | mardi, juillet 01, 2003 didn't go to work today because of a boycott-for-a-day arrangement with three other officemates. amazing thing is that my boss didn't call any one of us. she must have had a nervous breakdown or her 3-2-1 self-destruction countdown has just gone ahead of schedule. woke up late. and when i finally have the drive to get out of my shell and go out and see the world, my wings take me to a mall. had coffee and pecaroll at cinnzeo while having smokes and reading. i did get to sit in a park. just don't ask which one. finished reading The Last Unicorn yesterday. started to read A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin. # gtz | 8:12 AM | |
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