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lavender fields Tambak ang labada ko... |
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jeudi, janvier 29, 2004 1. binisita ko si L sa ospital kagabi. ikakasal sya sa March, at sabi nya na tapos na daw yung gown ko. ngak, pressure yun kasi sabi ko sa nagtahi, bawasan ng two inches yung sukat ko. lakas ng luob at bilib sa sariling kaya ko magpapayat, kaya dapat magkasya sa akin yun. pero excited na akong mag-timbang soon, malapit na sa posibilidad na mabalik ko ang college weight ko. 2. am not feeling well talaga, isang linggo na, lalo kapag sa gabi. nag 1000mg na nga ako ng tempra. kaya feeling namamanhid ang mukha ko. (kung namamanhid, di walang feeling yun?) 3. ang sarap ng Figaro Frost (cappucino). walang sinabi mga frap ng kung saan-saan. sa wakas, masarap na cold coffee. kapeng nilagyan ng whip, etc, hindi cream na nilagyan ng konting kape. 4. mamaya inom with dating classmates at andun crush ko! 5. wish ko lang makapunta ako ng los banos sa weekend. matutulog ako dun ng buong araw. labo, no? # gtz | 4:00 AM | mardi, janvier 27, 2004 so many things are on my mind right now, forgive me if i dont feel like babbling. nothing mind-blowing or earth-shaking really, just random thoughts that pop-up every now and then. News Flashes that go toot..toot..toot-toot...you need to do this...remember your timeline?...you're 28, and what were you planning to achieve when you got to this age?...whatever happened to?...you need to do shopping...fuck, forgot about that... but i am perkier than usual today, for no particular reason. just woke up in another dimension with a yearning to wear a floral sundress, at maghamon ng araw. (oh and wear red, which is sooo not my color. masyado akong pumuputi sa pula, which is not really bad 'cept that i want to be tan.) after being down with evening nausea for the past few days, last night i discovered that to get that virus out of my system all i needed was two bottles of beer. Tempra can put me to sleep for a few minutes, take me out of my physical pain but prozac it ain't. salamat, B, sa beer at 'sang platitong mani! back to monday blues. Bakit Ngayon... already sung twice at the videoke bar across the street and it was only ten o'clock. New videoke anthem Where is the Love? played and sung thrice and it was four hours till closing time. i will not be victim to this unwarranted sentimentality, lalot ang papangit ng boses ng mga kumakanta. ako na mamimili ng pag se-sentihan ko, di ba? Il Postino soundtrack nalang. i always have time for Andy Garcia. eto ang perfect emote album. kaso isang oras nalang pala buhay ng bateryang pinapatay ko. kayat gising ako after an hour. at Where is the Love? ang tumutugtog sa labas. ulit, ang kulit. buti nalang gising pa pinsan kot nakahingi ako ng yosi, pero pag tambay ko sa labas ng bahay, inulit ang hinayupak na kanta. at isa pa bago ako humiga ulit. kulit. buti may isang pares pa ako ng baterya. saktong recharge yun for next week, sakaling matuloy sa mahabang byahe. (plano ko sanang ayusin ito ulit, kasi code-switching na naman beauty ko. pero baka hindi ko na ma-post. kailangang makapag-recharge sa LB nitong weekend. excuses, excuses.) # gtz | 8:22 PM | lundi, janvier 26, 2004 
Thanks to bitdaemon. # gtz | 2:18 AM | dimanche, janvier 25, 2004 Panawagan lang po. Hoy, kung sino man nakakaalala sa akin buong araw, pwede i-Sms o tawagan ako. masakit masamid ng paulit-ulit buong araw eh. ang ga-galing pa ng timing mo. --- Be yourself and do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. - Max Ehrmann, writer and lawyer (1872-1945) # gtz | 10:49 PM | mardi, janvier 20, 2004
Which Sarah McLachlan Song Are You? gtz | 10:56 PM | Patience is a virtue, lalo na dito: Why do I need to accept --- Terms of Use before I get registered? The --- Terms of Use sets forth the terms and conditions governing your use of the --- --- system. It is important that you agree to the terms and conditions of the agreement. Accepting the terms of use also means that you agree that the Agreement forms a binding contract between you and ---. ahahahahahaha, kablag. # gtz | 12:03 AM | dimanche, janvier 18, 2004 Nalolongkot at di makatolog Well, di na Dial-A-Friend ngayon kungdi Send-an-SOS, este, SMS na po. ganyan ang nangyayari kapag di ako makatulog at wala akong drugs. kung sino-sinong kaibigang di madalas ma-text ang bigla kong nakakamusta. hindi ko naman talaga ini-expect na sagutin ako eh. syempre sino ba naman ang sasagot ng alas dos o alas tres ng maga. kasalanan ko bang pag araw, natatabunan ng ibang gawain ang pagkamusta ko sa kanila? pero kanina, may sumagot na dalawa. isang nagsabing matulog na daw ako at isang gising dahil umiiyak at heartbroken. watangktangktangk. wala lang. napansin ko tuloy na konti na pala kilala kong di makatulog, at may ilan na may asawa na at di mo na maistorbo ng madaling araw, o kaya asa ibang bansa at mahal na mag text. # gtz | 10:56 PM | Distracting Distraction music: Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps (Cake) i tried to continue reading The Acid House but after i finished reading A Blockage in the System and didn't understand the short story, i realized i was too distracted to attempt reading Irvine Welsh at this time. and what do i decide to read instead? i've always wanted to re-read The Fifth Mountain and By the River Piedra I sat down and wept, and figured the time was right for me to tackle it again. hoping that the Warrior of the Light would give me much needed direction and guidance. that's the thing with Paulo Coelho's books and my reading them; the books have sold millions but it was only last year when i felt i was ready to tackle his books. but it was a book at a time, a time ripe enough for me to accept what he was going to say. (the first time i read The Alchemist three years ago, it didnt really change my life nor my perspective. i was like, 'yeah, all the new age books are saying that. The Celestine Prophecy has more developed statements and steps on achieving your purpose in life.') so i borrow my cousin's River Piedra and Fifth Mountain. (oh, btw, now i know why i always use the word 'so' so many times. "so, are you going to invite us to the big opening?" Ross quips. (Friends, that one about Joey playing Al Pacino's butt double.) realized that i have my own Fifth Mountain on loan somewhere, yet i couldn't resist reading Coelho's note in FM. but i start reading River Piedra instead. and man, oh man. "By the River Piedra i sat down and wept," this has got to be one of the best opening lines to a book that i have ever read. and i just knew i was going to cry buckets again. ten pages into the book, my tears were, you know, flowing like the River Piedra. this happening when i can't even remember as many details in the book compared to, say, 100 Years of Solitude or LOTR. i knew then that i would definitely weep this time, knew then that i would relate more with Pilar, knew then that before the ending my heart would break, and knew then that this is one love story i would never want to live. ever. kahit pa 'anything less than mad, passionate love is a waste of time.' so i do the next thing i could do, i try to finish the book as fast as i could, avoiding moments that call for putting the book down and reflecting on the state of my non-existent love life (not finishing the book isn't an option because then it would haunt me more). during more persistent moments, i tried to distract myself by reading a book of quotes, reviewing my french, taking a nap, attempting to write that long delayed article, even getting out of the house, just because. my tears still flowed uncontrollably but at least the book is now in the hands of a friend. and i know he'll probably shed more tears than i did. # gtz | 7:22 PM | jeudi, janvier 15, 2004 step no. step yes. yan, ganyan ata trabaho ko ngayon. larong bulag. kapaan sa dilim. natatakot ako sa katapusan ng buwan. baka biglang maging taguan ang laro namin dito. ayokong maiwang nakapikit. nauna na nga yung isa, si stepmom. evil stepmother na jologs. natalisod sa sariling paa. (karma ata tawag dun.) lalong nakakatakot ngayon, imagine, kung nagawang ma-out sa laro ang ilang beses ng naka-home base (sa boss?!). aba, matakot na talaga lahat ng susunod. kaya naman gulat na gulat kaming mga magkakampi. pero ganun ata talaga, pangalawa na ito. pagburaot na buraot na akot ayoko na makilaro, yung salbaheng kalaro ko ang biglang nawawala. sa sariling katangahan. mahirap ata talaga akong maka-away. o sadyang swerte lang minsan. # gtz | 11:17 PM | lundi, janvier 12, 2004 Galing ng Runaway Jury ni John Grisham, can't wait to see the movie kahit alam kong hindi na tobacco litigation at kahit na nilampaso na ng salon.com ang sine sa review nila. pero andun pa rin si John Cusack. kasalukuyan kong binabasa ang The Acid House ni Irvine Welsh. riot, 'tol. maraming salamat, T, sa napakagandang Wolves in the Walls ni Gaiman. ayan, may panakot na ko sa magiging anak ko. # gtz | 12:13 AM | dimanche, janvier 11, 2004 i thought i would see the end of me last night. the cab driver was a quiet guy who stopped his cab at Pioneer, just between Globe and Edsa, you know, the dark area. heart pounding really loud and fast, i asked, "manong, bakit po?" no answer. again, "manong, bat po tayo huminto?" very long pause. "nahuli kasi ako, miss." ayan, sabi na kasing No U-Turn paglabas ng Boni Tunnel eh. # gtz | 11:49 PM | What are my best options for alcoholic beverages to avoid alcohol-related weight gain? # gtz | 6:39 PM | vendredi, janvier 09, 2004 Isa pa, galing naman kay malatemail, nuong Thu, 14 Dec 2000. tula ni e.e. cummings: she being Brand -new:and you know consequently a little stiff I was careful of her and(having thoroughly oiled the universal joint tested my gas felt of her radiator made sure her springs were O. K.)I went right to it flooded-the carburetor cranked her up,slipped the clutch(and then somehow got into reverse she kicked what the hell)next minute I was back in neutral tried and again slow-wly;bare,ly nudg. ing(my lev-er Right- oh and her gears being in A 1 shape passed from low through second-in-to-high like greasedlightning) just as we turned the corner of Divinity avenue I touched the accelerator and give her juice,good (it was the first ride and believe i we was happy to see how nice she acted right up to the last minute coming back down by the Public Gardens I slammed on the internalexpanding & externalcontracting brakes Bothatonce and brought allofher tremB -ling to a:dead. stand- ;Still) # gtz | 2:41 AM | The OC in me just couldn't help but clean my Inbox and organize my 2003 e-mail into a new subfolder today. Doing so, i couldn't help but browse through the e-mails i saved since 1998 in the hopes of deleting old messages to create more Inbox space. so i found this e-mail sent by reality@truthmail.com on 24 Oct 2000. 8 Beatitudes for Singles 1. Blessed are the single, for theirs alone is their income. 2. Blessed are those who are detached, they can go where they please, when they please. 3. Blessed are the non-couples, they shall inherit no one one else's problems but their own. 4. Blessed are the uncommitted, they have no phone calls to wait for. 5. Blessed are those who do not thirst for companionship, they do not have to share the remote. 6. Blessed are the purely unattached, for they will see what they want in the shops and go buy it without any thought as to whether their mate will approve of the purchase. In other words, they can indulge without guilt. 7. Blessed are those who are persecuted when valentine's day rolls in, they do not need some stupid special day declared to remind them that they are happy in their present state. 8. Blessed are you when couples walk by arm in arm on a rainy day, you're not getting wet, they are. (I mean, try squeezing two people under a small umbrella, geez!) MABUHAY TAYONG MGA SINGLE !!! ------- End of forwarded message ------ ayy, ayoko yatang maki-MABUHAY. i know i used to agree with this e-mail but i can only smile and say 'hahaha' today. # gtz | 2:31 AM | mercredi, janvier 07, 2004 Surprise! Surprise! (ang nagagawa nga naman ng tinatamad) 
You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta nowhere to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek or more passionate embrace. super markets and work places are your favorite places to attack your loved one with all your love =p What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by Quizilla # gtz | 12:57 AM | mardi, janvier 06, 2004 Pag-alala sa 2003 at Pagbati sa 2004. Ang Limang P ni Lavenderfields Pamilya – Mas malapit sa mga kapatid at sa ina, kung nuclear na pamilya ang pag-uusapan. Kung sa angkan, madami akong gustong kalimutang kamag-anak ko sila. Pwede ba? Kahit mga pinsan nalamang ang makita ko taon-taon, pwede na. Sa 2004, mukhang pwede ko ng indianin ang reunion. Magpapasko nalang ako sa sagada. Sama na natin ang mga kaibigan (My family by choice, not by blood). Nagkaruon akong oras makita ang mga taong bihira kong makasama dati. Wala akong mare-reklamo pa. Tatandaan na basura lang ang pinupulot sa bundok, hindi tao, dakila man o hindi. Pinansya – Mainam. Malakas pa rin ang paggastos pero makakabawi rin. Tutal, kaya ganito ang pinansya ko ngayon ay dahil sa pabugso-bugsong desisyon. Isama na rin ang di mapigilang paglakwatsa kung saan-saan. Sana makatipid sa darating na taon at maiwasan ang mga bad investments (pwera nalang kung biglang umayos ang H-factor). Pag-aaral – Patuloy ang pagnanais na matuto, pormal na set-up man o hindi. Nagawa ko sa wakas ang pag-aral ng isang bagay ng matagal ko ng gustong matutuhan. At ipagpapatuloy pa rin sa darating na mga buwan. Pag-ibig – Ah. Sabihin nalang nating maraming naging prospect at marami ring nawala. Pero sa bagong taon, sana may mas maayos na pagitan at hindi sinasaksak lahat sa mga huling buwan ng taon. Kung makikilala ko na sya, eh di mainam. Pangkalusugan – Sana maging mas maayos na ang aking pagtulog gabi-gabi. Nagpapasalamat rin na maayos na ang aking likod at medyo pumapayat na ako. Sana pumayat pa ako lalo. # gtz | 1:18 AM | dimanche, janvier 04, 2004 isang galá sa galera i got back from puerto galera yesterday. yup galera, not sagada. galera is not as beautiful as it was the first and second times that i've been there, and if the locals aren't careful, galera will suffer a very fast decline in tourism. ang kalat, ang daming bars sa shoreline, ginawa pang dock ng mga malalaking bangka yung shore. mas madaming locals na nagtatanong kung gusto mo ng masahe o bracelet kesa sa mga lakwatserang andun. hay. pero sa ngayon, magandang weekend hideaway pa rin naman. successful rin ang pag-exorcise ko, fully, ng evil spirits of my past sa islang ito. how i got to galera, though, is as big a wonder to me as how i got out of sagada with only money to get me to baguio. shameless, i guess you can call me that, hehehe, because a good friend of mine paid for everything and i didn't even offer to pay for a bottle of san mig light. i couldn't ask how much i was to pay dahil: 1.) baka mahiritan lang akong 'ano ka ba, ako nag-aya chuva'... na alam kong mahihirit nga; at 2.) wala talaga akong ibabayad ngayon. mahal na magbakasyon sa sagada. butas talaga bulsa ko sa byaheng yun. buti nalang nga door-to-door delivery pa ang pag-galera ko, hatid-sundo, sundong maaga at hatid na kinuha ng dalawang oras ang mula batangas pier hanggang bahay. (Ei L, if your reading this and planning to charge me for the trip, pwedeng mga March na? mwah! o payback ba ito sa atraso mo sa akin nuong madaling araw ng pagbalik ko galing sagada? hehe.) sa galera, naalala ko ang blog entry kong ito kung saan sinabi ko na gusto kong bumyahe sa christmas break ng sagada o galera, at ang swerte ko na nakapunta ako sa parehong lugar sa luob ng dalawang linggong bakasyon. nagpapasalamat rin ako na swerte akong nakapasok at nakalabas ng buhay sa supposed cursed cave ng sagada, sana (nagdarasal) hindi ako magkaruon ng parehong palad ni Awingan sa kwento sa Stopover Magazine. natutuwa rin akong isang oras lang rin namin nakuha ni C at D ang sumaguing, kahit ala una ng maga nang makabalik kami sa tinutuluyan mula sa malayo at malamig na hike. aba, coldest ever ang lamig sa sagada. parang yelong binabato sa iyo pag galing sa shower ang tubig. pero kahit ganun kalamig, naligo pa rin ako nung unang gabing galing akong manila (tulog na kasi si Manang Nakakainis kaya walang hot water). pangalawang gabi, naligo pa rin ako, galing kasi akong putikan, este kweba pala. sa ikatlong gabi, pagbalik galing sumaguing, ayoko nang maligo, matutulog na ako agad tutal malinis naman tubig ng sumaguing eh. pero kahit yelo na pagbagsak sa katawan ko ang tubig galing shower, ok lang basta papasukin ako sa interconnection ng lumiang at sumaguing next year. sa susunod, basura nalang talaga pupulutin ko, hindi na tao, pambihira man o hindi. # gtz | 9:46 PM | |
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